Life is one epic journey, as I am sure you, who are reading this, already know. When big events take place, and your hand is forced, you can sink or swim in your own delusions, or take control and do what will ultimately make you happy. Or you can do nothing and let events control you.

I am constantly in and out of love with life. I sometimes find great happiness in pain and suffering. While I don’t think I am a sadist, I sometimes think that I am. What is life if there is nothing to decipher, wallow in, stress about, or feel? Happiness is often fleeting, and incomplete. This is the nature of being human. We always want to be happy, but then find more and more and more reasons not to be. So in the end we are only happy for very brief periods of time. And in the meanwhile, we are lost, searching for the next thing, or person to make us happy again. Most of us walk around like zombies, just waiting for things to happen in life. Or we base our decisions off of our most current emotions, the results often being mixed and haphazard.

As my current situation changes, I am setting myself up for a lot of pain/ happiness. I philosophize on life. And in my half ass attempt I realize that everything I loath, and think is lame, I do myself. After all, I am only human right? I fuck up and make the same stupid mistakes we all make. And I regret nothing. Because life is complicated, and I am but a person, with my own shit/ baggage. I make rash decisions based off of my emotions and watch the chaos unfold. Or things fall into place. What ever.

There will be bruised ego’s, broken hearts, and emotions all over the place soon. I embrace the changes to come with trepidation and fear. And also a sense of excitement. Because life is nothing without change and pain. And pain ultimately leads to happiness.